juilan:

Psychological fact: If a tear falls from your right eye first, you’re a little pansy bitch. If a tear falls from your left eye first, you’re a little pansy bitch.

pissvortex:

infomercial man: call now and we’ll DOUBLE our offer

6 year old me who has never seen an infomercial before:

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bakwaaas:

in hardship there is hope, but in happiness there is fear. because you know how temporary everything is, and now you have something which you could lose.